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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22830688">Of Awkward Gifts and Dense Scientists</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keytrastar/pseuds/Keytrastar'>Keytrastar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Portal (Video Game), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adorable, But it’s crack, Crack, Do not ask me how it works, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, GLaDOS is too btw, I did my best to keep everyone in character, Knock Out’s gonna lose his sanity, Megatron is done, My brain is weird, Poor Vehicons, Shockwave is dense, Soundwave loves thinking with portals!, Starscream abuse, Team as Family, This is what happens when you’re a fan of transformers and replayed Portal 2, sooo, total crack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 13:28:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22830688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keytrastar/pseuds/Keytrastar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Decepticons had expected their scientists to get along well. However, they did not expect them to get along THAT well..</p><p>Or</p><p>Megatron is cursing every known deity out there, Soundwave is defending his test-solving privileges, Knock Out is going insane, Shockwave is awkward and GLaDOS is just being mean</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>GLaDOS/Shockwave (Transformers)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Of Awkward Gifts and Dense Scientists</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Painful, it’s almost physically painful,” Starscream hissed quietly through clenched dentae, Knock Out absentmindedly humming in agreement beside him. Though he himself managed to remain completely silent, Megatron couldn’t help but share their point of view as he watched the bizarre scene unfold before them, crimson optics narrowed in amusement.</p><p>“Your decision is illogical. A fully automated and mobile body will provide you with more opportunities, open a whole range of new areas for study and the conduction of tests. Why do you reject it?” Shockwave was saying, gesturing to the prone form lying on a slightly misshapen slab in the middle of the room, it’s pristine white armor glinting eerily in the low light. If the three mechs didn’t know any better, they’d say that their comrade sounded almost incredulous as he spoke, his single optic flashing in the dark gloom of the Central AI Chamber. He was certainly gesticulating far more than he usually did, even when dealing with the Predacon or a particularly stubborn drone.</p><p>The human made creation, GLaDOS, Megatron mentally corrected himself (Shockwave had said that she’d surpassed average cybertronian intelligence after all and thus deserved to be treated as equal), swung her body in the direction of the decepticon scientist, single yellow optic narrowed. “I must confess, I find the mere concept absolutely worthless. My current body is more than satisfactory in both mobility and automation. I do not need to move around as the rest of you to successfully conduct tests.”</p><p>“You are chained to the ceiling.”</p><p>“I am connected and in control of the entire facility. Detaching me from the mainframe is liable to cause a catastrophic failure that Aperture has not seen since a certain mute lunatic and her pet moron. Additionally, I find the existence of tests I cannot perform in this body highly improbable. An unsightly bipedal body will not provide me with anything I have no opportunity to try now.” </p><p>Her voice, monotonous and at the same time oddly melodious as ever, bounced off the bare walls of the main chamber, making it seem larger and emptier than it really was. The warlord could feel the faint whoosh of stale air against his flight sensors as Starscream forcefully tamped down the urge to squirm beside him, wings visibly twitching. Megatron withheld a sigh. He’d forgotten that seekers easily got claustrophobic in enclosed spaces such as this, no matter the actual size of the room. Which probably gave Starscream yet another reason to be bitter with the silver mech towering over him.</p><p>He studiously ignored his Second’s accusatory glare.</p><p>Shockwave’s antennae canted back at the other’s retort, his E.M field pulling back tightly around his frame. If the gathered Decepticons weren’t so confident in their comrade’s lack of emotions, they’d most likely notice that their scientist looked almost.. hurt. “You... do not find it pleasing?” The cyclops asked, his vocalizer quiet. </p><p>“I find it impractical,” GLaDOS said, turning her attention away from the cybertronian party and tilting her body up to pear at one of the many monitors lining the walls, displaying the multitude of testing chambers the AI currently had in use. Most of them were empty, Megatron noticed, the test subjects having long since vacated the pristine white rooms. Either after completing the test or dying horribly. One of the two. He really hoped it was the latter.</p><p>Only a single chamber in fact seemed to be occupied, showing two human-sized, though decidedly not human-shaped, robots, equipped with those.. ‘portal devices’. Quite primitive compared to cybertronian groundbridging technology, but the supercomputer seemed to be rather fond of them. Soundwave, strangely enough, seemed entertained by them as well, if his weekly visits to the laboratory were anything to go by. </p><p>The warlord wisely elected to overlook that particular aspect of his subordinate’s life. His Third’s productivity had visibly risen since he’d started and if jumping around while solving problems helped the mech blow off some steam and relax, well, who was he to judge? He’d personally spent the entire weekend destroying Starscream’s laboratory for the millionth time. Or was it for the hundred-millionth? Ah, who cared? He’d lost track a long time ago.</p><p>Starscream, however, remained to be the only one to stubbornly evade their new recruit. Maybe it was because the seeker couldn’t quite understand her on a personal level, convinced that he would’ve been ecstatic to study far more advanced technology in her place, as he’d graciously informed them several times before. His Second had also voiced the idea that maybe she simply did not possess the computing power to see the clear superiority of cybertronian science and that Megatron was just humoring Shockwave’s crush. Since there simply was no other way to describe how the purple mech acted around the human-made abomination.</p><p>To their collective amusement however, Starscream made sure never to voice his opinion in front of GLaDOS herself. The one time he’d tried to disparage her like he did the Predacon beast, she’d somehow managed to verbally shatter his remaining self-esteem and then dump him into an incinerator. An unusual approach to instantly earning the respect of every officer in the room, but ludicrously effective. Thus, GLaDOS had successfully solidified her place amongst the Decepticons and provided her new Master with a gift that would entertain him for vorns to come.</p><p>Starscream still hadn’t recovered from that enormous blow to his pride.</p><p>Shockwave sullenly moved to gather the prototype frame he’d crafted specifically for her into his arms, looking somewhat bizarrely dejected all the while, but GLaDOS stopped him before he could do so, swooping down to study the offering more closely, the massive white plate that made up most of her faceplate moving up and down eerily. “Wait, I’d like to keep it here for anatomical study.” She glanced at the silver warlord out of the corner of her single optic, “Since Lord Megatron has graciously declined in providing me with test subjects.”</p><p>“I cannot allow you to dissect my troops,” the mech rumbled from his spot by the doorway, scarred lipplates quirked in what could almost be amusement as he looked up at the misshapen being hanging over their helms. “Unfortunately, Starscream is yet of use to the Decepticon Cause. Rest assured however, if he does ever prove himself as useless, I will gladly relinquish him into your custody.” The seeker’s offended squawk went ignored. “For now, however, you will have to satisfy yourself with the medical files I had Knock Out send you.” </p><p>A metallic hum of acknowledgement resonated through the white chassis as GLaDOS leaned away, her yellow optic momentarily skimming over the medic’s crimson armor before turning back to the offered body, cables and claws descending from the ceiling to quickly whisk it away to another location. Shockwave seemed to be the only one to be completely unperturbed by how their very surroundings could change in the blink of an optic depending on the AI’s whim. “A complete disassembly lead by me would be far more informative.” </p><p>Nobot tried to contradict her on that.</p><p>=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=</p><p>Shockwave spent the entire week after the failed gift locked in his own laboratory, pouring all of his attention into the completion of project Predacon and only coming out to refuel. They paid no attention to it at first. If anything, the scientist’s renewed vigor was considered beneficial to the Decepticon Cause. The autobots were becoming decidedly more and more ruthless as the weeks went by and, though they were loath to admit it, the decepticons were currently on the defensive. They needed the research and so it took a while for them to realize that something was amiss.</p><p>Shockwave was sulking. </p><p>Oh, they denied it at first. There was no way Shockwave of all mechs would be upset just because his invention was not accepted by someone else. The scientist had lost his job before the war for his experiments and still continued them regardless for crying out loud! He certainly wouldn’t care if some inferior, human-made AI did not appreciate his efforts.</p><p>Apparently, he would.</p><p>The decepticons were no strangers to relationships, but they had all screwed up at some point or another. You only needed to look at the violent clashes between Optimus Prime and Megatron to be convinced of that particular fact. Even so, as they watched their comrade trudge back to his lab, a cube of energon grasped firmly in his single servo and helm held low, they knew they needed to do something. Well, Knock Out knew. The rest were still reluctant to accept their responsibility.</p><p>“No,” Starscream intoned, sipping his aluminum flavored energon with the most relaxed expression he could muster, not fooling anyone around him in the slightest. The other officers around the seeker nodded absentmindedly, either focusing their attention on their warm fuel or, like in Megatron and Soundwave’s cases, reading through the latest reports ranging from Autobot sightings to their current energon reserves. The mining teams were working most efficiently lately and it showed.</p><p>“Oh, come on!” The medic groaned in exasperation, looking almost comical as he waved his servos in the air wildly as if that would somehow convince his fellow Decepticons. “Don’t you have any shred of compassion for our poor, lovesick comrade?”</p><p>“No,” the gathered mechs said in unison, instantly snapping their attention to each other, red optics narrowing in suspicion, before going back to their evening meal. </p><p>When it was obvious that Knock Out would not stop glaring at them until they gave him a straight answer, the warlord sighed, accepting the sad fact that he would have to take it upon himself and explain their stance so they could all refuel in peace. For a tiny, vain fool, the CMO surprisingly managed to pull off the judgmental stare quite well. Megatron was starting to think he was taking lessons from Soundwave.</p><p>“Shockwave’s productivity has increased significantly over the past few solar cycles. So has GLaDOS’s ever since she had received that prototype frame. Her experiments on heat and cold resistant armor seem quite promising and should benefit our mining teams in Antarctica and Africa quite nicely. Interfering for the sake of something so insignificant as feelings,” Megatron practically spat out the word, scarred lip plates curling in derision,” would be nothing short of counterproductive.” </p><p>The chastised medic sagged in his seat, wilting slightly under his leader’s warning glare. “And what if our interference could get them to work together?” He said at last, voice hopeful. “Imagine how many things they could accomplish then.”</p><p>Nobot deigned to come up with a response to that. </p><p>=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=</p><p>It all went to scrap after their next visit to the abandoned human laboratory. Oh, the AI had done her job alright, providing the silver warlord with the schematic of a possible armor protection. The design was truly nothing short of ingenious as it required easily acquirable materials and could be constructed by any mech with basic engineering knowledge. Simple and scarily efficient. To say Megatron was pleased would be an understatement. But besides the new armor, the AI also presented something else: a prototype arm for their esteemed scientist that contained almost all the special properties she could possibly ever think of. Including a small capsule of neurotoxin. “In case you encounter some pesky humans,” she had said.</p><p>Shockwave politely declined the gift, however, and spent the next few hours conversing with her, everyone except perhaps Starscream and Soundwave quickly getting lost in the scientific babble. </p><p>When they parted ways, they thought that that was that. Apparently not.</p><p>As the weeks went by, the Decepticons quickly learned one new thing about their human-crafted recruit. </p><p>It would seem that when GLaDOS was upset, she got very, very verbally abusive.</p><p>When the fourth vehicon tasked with handling communications between Aperture science and the Nemesis was sent crying to his habsuit, Megatron knew he had to intervene. The problem was that... he was quite reluctant to speak to her himself. Though he would never admit it of course. </p><p>“Soundwave-“ He began.</p><p>The silent mech turned sharply to look at him, his black visor somehow seeming to be even darker than usual. That was a ‘no’ then. Funny, he would’ve thought that his Third would be more than happy to put the human supercomputer in her place. Perhaps he didn’t want to lose his test-solving privileges.</p><p>But something had to be done. Not only was GLaDOS acting out, but Shockwave was also being rather.. difficult. The scientist had completely withdrawn into his lab, staying in there for hours on end to the point of collapse. </p><p>Knock Out had been right after all.</p><p>Megatron vented a deep sigh, running a heavy servo down his faceplate, frame sagging with exhaustion as he vehemently cursed every known deity out there for saddling him not only with an entire army, but also two scientists who were obviously attracted to each other, but somehow too dense to realize it despite their supposed brilliance. </p><p>Primus help him.</p><p>Twenty earth minutes later found Megatron storming out of the bridge, the sound of GLaDOS’s voice soon being cut short as the line was disconnected. The vehicons scattered to get out of his way for fear of being trampled, optics wide behind their visors, the wild lashes of uncontrollable, all-encompassing <em>fury</em> against their fields making them wince and cower in the dark shadows of the Nemesis’s halls as the warlord stalked past, scarred faceplates dark. They’d never seen him quite so angry before.. not even with Starscream. </p><p>The distant slam of a closing door made them all jump, prompting the drones to instantly scatter to their posts before their leader could decide to unleash his anger upon them instead of the poor robots in the battle simulator. </p><p>Who knew that a single comment about his dentae could make the warlord that angry...</p><p>=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=</p><p>Needless to say, Knock Out did not bother to conceal his smug triumph the moment his leader informed him that he was right, looking like he was in great physical pain the whole time. Since the warlord himself was not that in touch with his emotions and Soundwave simply couldn’t be bothered, the medic along with the decepticon SIC were put in charge of setting up the two scientists. Before anyone could suffer more on their behalf of course.</p><p>It goes without saying that Starscream was not happy at all about being roped into the whole thing.</p><p>“... I can’t believe I’m tasked with convincing two idiots to frag..” The seeker groaned as the two of them walked to Shockwave’s lab, the dark hallway silent and vacant of any drones after Shockwave had threatened to experiment on them for disrupting his work by being ‘too loud’. The cyclops had tactfully ignored the fact that his entire lab was soundproofed upon its construction per his own request. </p><p>“Not just any idiots, emotionally stunted, dense and science-crazed idiots,” Knock Out chirped beside him, nearly skipping down the hallway in his glee, ruby optics glinting in the dim light like tiny red stones. Starscream sent him a disdainful look. </p><p>“No Decepticon in their right mind should enjoy this, you know,” he rasped, stopping in front of the large laboratory doors, wings hiked up and tense. </p><p>“You would know about what ‘proper’ Decepticons should and shouldn’t enjoy, wouldn’t you, Starscream?” Knock Out snarked under his breath, amusement practically written all over his white face. </p><p>The seeker bristled beside him.</p><p>The doors opened with a soft whoosh of cold air, allowing them admittance into the scientist’s humble abode. Almost instantly their olfactory sensors were assaulted with the strong smell of stale energon, as well as other disgusting fluids none of them wanted or knew how to name.</p><p>Shockwave didn’t look up as they drew closer, his dim red optic fixed on whatever he was taking notes on now. Knock Out’s quick medical scan of the other’s form immediately pinging him with warnings of the cyclops’s obvious mental and physical exhaustion.</p><p>The decepticon scientist was swaying uncontrollably where he stood, gun arm braced firmly on the smooth table in front of him and clawed hand trembling violently where he was attempting to jot down some notes. That, paired with the dangerous pink hue in his single optic and faded paintjob told the CMO that they needed to do something about this. Now.</p><p>“Shockwave!” Knock Out exclaimed in his usual lively manner, enjoying the way the scientist twitched and nearly dropped what he was holding, his sluggish systems failing to inform him of his unannounced visitors. “How are you this lovely morning?”</p><p>“Knock Out. Starscream,” the cyclops uttered in his usual emotionless monotone, turning to face the two mechs, swaying dangerously as he did so and ignoring the way the seeker scowled at him at the lack of proper address. “I was not aware Lord Megatron has sanctioned a visit.”</p><p> The decepticon SIC let out an amused snort, crossing his servos over his polished chest plates and regarding the scientist with a mocking smirk. “Soundwave was supposed to send you a notification half a breem ago, directly from Megatron’s console. Surely you have been keeping up with your Master’s orders?”</p><p>Shockwave gave a guilty twitch. He had not. Not since…No, he was not thinking of that now. It was simply illogical to dwell on such things. Not to mention, highly counterproductive. He had tests to run, an army to create. His odd… affection for the human-made AI could be pushed aside for the sake of duty. Lord Megatron would be highly disappointed if he ever learned of his behavior that was simply unbefitting of a true Decepticon.</p><p>“What Starscream here means to say is,” Knock Out quickly interjected, giving the seeker a swift elbow to the rib struts and promptly ignoring the indignant squawk that action earned him, “is that our Lord has sent us to speak to you about your little.. obsession.”</p><p>“My attachment to project Predacon should not alarm our Master,” the scientist rumbled, turning back to his work and quickly growing disinterested in the whole conversation. “I am confident that I can safely proceed with its development, as well as terminate it should the need arise.”</p><p>Behind his back, Starscream face-palmed, shoulders shaking in silent laughter. Knock Out on the other hand was busy picking his jaw off the floor.</p><p>“That- that is not what I am talking about!” The medic exclaimed, throwing his arms up in mixed frustration and exasperation. “I meant your relationship with our new… recruit.”</p><p>Well, that made Shockwave turn back to his fellow comrades, dim optic brightening and surprise and, dare he say it, confusion. “I believe she is a valuable asset,” he said at last, failing to understand why they were having this conversation at all. Surely he has proven to their Master that he was perfectly capable and willing to work with the AI despite her origins? “I do not question his decision to bring her into our ranks.”</p><p>Shockwave was utterly bewildered why that simple and logical reply made the seeker suddenly explode into laughter and the medic to look like he couldn’t believe the stupidity the scientist possessed. The cyclops was quite confident in his superior intelligence, thank you very much, so he did not exactly understand the response he received. Perhaps he should file a report to Soundwave to have the two mechs’ processors checked. Yes, that seemed like the most sensible course of action in a situation as bizarre as this.</p><p>“You like her, Shockwave!” The medic exclaimed, suddenly seeming to have abandoned his ability at formulating intelligent responses, ruby optics flashing. “And she likes you! Why do you think you have been moping around lately?! Why do you think she has been polite only to you for the past few solar cycles?!”</p><p>Shockwave was ashamed to admit that he was utterly stumped by that. First by the grossly unfair accusation that he was not professional lately and second by the insinuation that GLaDOS was disrespectful to everyone but him. Knowing her, that simply couldn’t be true. While he could admit that the ability to destroy someone’s self-esteem (most notably Starscream’s) was highly enjoyable, both of them had come to a mutual agreement that it was simply a waste of time. So it was beyond his understanding why she would act like that, especially towards Lord Megatron.</p><p>It was simply… illogical.</p><p>He was so busy puzzling over the two accusations that he did not immediately register the third.</p><p>“I.. do not experience any unprofessional feelings towards our newest recruit. That would simply go beyond all logic and would put my proficiency at risk. I would never indulge in such unnecessary activities.”</p><p>“You made her a cybertronian body!”</p><p>“I was merely attempting to prove my thesis on transferring consciousness from one frame to another. An invention that could benefit our cause greatly.”</p><p>“She made you a working arm!”</p><p>“GLaDOS has supplied us with a prototype limb which we could replicate upon its completion and use to equip our troops. She was merely assisting us in our defense against Autobot attacks.”</p><p>“Oh, Primus give me strength,” Knock Out muttered, dragging a heavy servo down his pristine faceplates. Starscream was still busy guffawing unabashedly beside him.</p><p>“Primus is a fictional entity created for the sole purpose of controlling the mindset of primitive mecha. He cannot offer you assistance.”</p><p>“That’s besides the point!” The medic snapped, seeming to swiftly lose his patience, waving his clawed servos in the stale air of the laboratory. Shockwave watched his movements warily, starting to seriously consider sending for a squad of vehicons before any of his current experiments could suffer at the hands of the obviously mentally unstable medic. “How can you not see this?! Both of you were trying to fix what you perceived to be weaknesses!”</p><p>“I beg your pardon?” The scientist asked, all rampant thoughts concerning his worry for his precious tests coming to a screeching halt within his processor.</p><p>“You gave her a body, because you thought that her current stationary form is unsavory and she would benefit from being able to move around! She gave you an arm, because she thought your current one was inefficient, not to mention crippling! Both of you were trying to correct something about each other and when that didn’t work you perceived that as a rejection! That’s why you have been in such a foul mood lately!”</p><p>For some reason that… actually made sense. Or it would have for anyone else other than the two of the most logic driven members in Megatron’s army. He… He needed to think about this.</p><p>Fortunately, the lunatic currently posing as their CMO seemed to take his sudden silence as world-crushing realization for he gave a relieved (and at the same time exhausted) vent and sagged where he stood, looking like he’d just battled an entire squadron of Autobots.</p><p>Starscream merely gave his companion a comforting pat on the shoulder, lipplates still curved in a grin. Not that it helped Knock Out much.</p><p>=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=</p><p>The next time they visited Aperture Science, Shockwave made the decision to wear their newest acquisition. If only to save his Master and fellow soldiers any more humiliation. Knock Out had assured him that it would be easy to attach his old arm whenever he wished, so he could afford parting with it for the sake of relations. That was what he told himself anyway.</p><p>GLaDOS did not say anything at first, though the scientist didn’t miss the the way her single optic brightened at the sight of her invention attached to his frame, or the way her simple white armor seemed to vibrate and ruffle in pleasure and pride at the sight. He couldn’t say he blamed her for that. He, too, liked to indulge in feeling pleased whenever one of his experiments proved to be a success.</p><p>The verbal attacks ceased after that. The decepticons (including Megatron) vented a collective sigh of relief. Soundwave managed to keep his test-solving privileges. There were no attempts on Starscream’s life from the AI for the next two months. Shockwave started refueling again and just generally looked happier and more energized than he had. The Decepticon army’s proficiency went up 20%.</p><p>When a white femme appeared on the Nemesis’ bridge a few weeks later, yellow optics glowing eerily in the darkness and a familiar melodious voice reverberating throughout the large room, nobot said a word.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoyed this fic that came out of absolutely nowhere and contains my pathetic attempts at humor. </p><p>This was originally meant to be part of a mini series, but I didn’t know how it would be received and decided to just make it a one shot for now. I have many, many more ideas for this pairing. Including Shockwave trying to bake a cake after learning about GLaDOS’ obsession and Soundwave getting involved. Will I ever write it? Maaaaybe</p></blockquote></div></div>
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